IN QUEST OF PERFECT MARRIAGE: Invest More in Marriage, Less in Palaces

-by Jasneet Singh

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Why some marriages last and others fade away in the glitter of glamour, pomp and show? The extravagant spending on the wedding does not ensure a happy married life. Wedding is only a one-time gratification, but marriage is a lifetime investment. 

Wedding is a solemn ceremony when beau and belle take vows to remain together for the rest of life. It is a desire of every human being to find a perfect partner in marriage. In Punjab parents, relatives and family members make it a point to display opulence while wedding their protégés with fulsomeness. 

 

Marriages are made in heaven but God will not come down on earth to save a marriage. The lust for wealth, extravagant spending on wedding cannot make marriage a success. So it is futile to spend crores of rupees in show off.

The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the wedding ceremony’s extravagant display.

It’s a choice you make – not just on your wedding day, but over and over again – and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife which makes the marriage work.

Lasting relationships in marriages, regardless of whether the couple is married or not, is mainly based on a mix of genetics, physical appearance and emotions. The marriages made in the heart rust with time, the matrimonies made in the mind lack intimacy, the weddings made in heart and mind last. It’s not wealth, it’s relationship, understanding and love which binds the couple together. 

Big fat weddings in Punjab may look glamorous but it’s not a formula ensure happy wedding life. If extravagant weddings were a symbol for happy marriages, there would be no post marriage depression and divorces. These days about 25% of the marriages don’t work in upper middle class and affluent because neither the boy nor the girl is willing to adjust in the new circumstances. 

Is it not strange that in Punjab efforts should be to restore the true meaning of marriage and its celebrations without any financial burden on the bride’s or groom’s side, as it leads to a vicious circle of loans, bankruptcy and suicide.

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should learn that they do not climb one notch up by wasteful wedding expenditure. Big fat wedding does not endorse happy married life. One has to remember, marriage is a union between two forgivers. It’s about completing each other, not competing with each other.

 The generation after 1990s has not learned to make the relationship work, they belong to net-age. They want quick-fix solution and after that it is my way or highway.

The youth these days get married with false notions and expectations. The girls fail to please their husband and in-laws simultaneously right from the word go. They become impatient and start fighting, grumbling and arguing. They have not learnt to be patient-love and loyalty is truly demonstrated when things are not going right in a relationship. Only those marriages become successful in which the husband and the wife refuse to give up on one another. If we take good care of our responsibilities and duties, our rights will automatically be given to us much before we even demand for it.

 Simple living and high thinking makes the marriage work. Marriage is not one day affair where you please all your guests and rest of the life live on the laurels of how glamour’s wedding it was.

 It is important that we must teach our sons and daughters, brothers and sisters that it’s not about finding the right spouse, rather, being the right spouse.

Every successful marriage requires devotion, forgiveness, tolerance along with love and affection. If both spouses can strike a perfect balance their journey in life become meaningful. Sharing the same goal and working towards achieving it makes the marriage work. It is important for the parents, groom and bride in Punjab to understand that wedding is only a one-time gratification, but marriage is a lifetime investment.

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